Sufferin' Succulents

People seem to think that growing succulents is easy, but I beg to differ.  It seems that the harder I try to maintain my succulents, the worse they get.

It vexes me to start with full, vibrant succulents with turgid leaves that turn soggy and wrinkly in a few weeks.

I've tried experimenting with environment by leaving succulents and leaves pretty much everywhere -- there are succulents on the lanai in full sun, lanai under partial shade, inside uncovered, inside with filtered sunlight but covered to increase humidity, and in the shower.  Most are planted in cactus soil mix, and others are in recycled garden soil and/or potting mix with perlite.  I've also experimented with different watering frequencies -- I think I probably overwatered them for a while because someone told me to make sure they have enough water when they're rooting, but even when I significantly cut back watering, they didn't seem to improve much.  Maybe the damage had already been done and it takes a while to recover.

I'm determined to solve this puzzle, but I think I'll need other plants to occupy my time and energy while I wait for these succulents to behave.

Sorry, little guy, legginess is not a good look on you.